distinquish this
17 Oct 2000, 11:52pm

Distinquish...with a "Q"...yep, that's how I spelled it here. Perhaps it's a sniglet: "To distinguish something squishy." Except I was referring to cars, which are pretty emphatically not squishy. Feh. I think I'll leave it that way, for character, personal amusement, whatever. We'll call it a stand against convention. Yeah. Not, "I'm too lazy to run a spell check."

I've made up other words, more organically than accidentally. For instance:

realiturd - That's when something you thought would be great turns out to be a big fat disappointment. Remember those Impulse Body Spray commercials from the 80's? "When a really hot stranger keeps staring at you and smiling until finally they approach to tell you you've got toilet paper stuck to your shoe -- that's realiturd." The key to realiturd, according to the parameters I'm just now making up, is that you don't really see it coming. If you expect the worst and get it, that's not realiturd, that's intuition -- really pessimistic intuition. Life is often chock-full of realiturds, which is why it's important to be in touch with:

nostalgiorgasm - Say you've had a love connection and the next morning you're sitting at work mentally replaying the glorious details with such clarity that it's the next best thing to being there - in fact, a little more and you will be there, if you get my drift. That's a nostalgiorgasm. But say you're celibate, at least until proven otherwise. You can still have a nostalgiorgasm. All you need is an endorphin-inducing total recall of some happy experience. But realistically, it's much better with sex. Face it, everything's better with sex.

Fewer realiturds, more nostalgiorgasms. That's why these are words to live by, kids.

and so it begins...
16 Oct 2000, 2:09am

It's after 2am on a Sunday night and as usual I'm still awake, but at least it's for a worthy cause. Once I get the last of my updates uploaded (and make 7-up yours!), god help me, I think this site will finally be ready for public consumption. I should probably say something poignant to commemorate this occasion, but I'm at a rare, sleep-deprived loss for words. I'm sure tomorrow I'll have something profound to say, like "Oh shit, what have I done?" or "I'm sorry my website induced your psychotic episode, please don't sue me." But tomorrow is another day. Actually tomorrow is today already. Damn. Time to put this baby to bed -- literally.

In the meantime...enjoy.

[more of then, or more of now]

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