it was late, finally, after a gray day that had lasted far too long. the night swirled around me as I'd longed for and I almost didn't notice the thrill, so much at home and still so wrapped in the obsession of being there. I had to be sharp, with this place fickle as I. "will you or not?" I asked, a question more for myself than him. the answer would be yes, sure as that long day was bound to end, a yes saturated with no's and maybe's that simply made it more inevitable. the only way to be sure of the answer was to say it aloud, but I let the word play through my lips silently, let him struggle to catch it on my tongue, let it tumble from his own crooked mouth. this night was cloudy from the debris of the day, and in the dim light I saw how tarnished it was, nothing I hadn't seen before, just clearer so soon after the dusk had come. I tucked myself back into the dark anyway, let it fold itself around me in its hapless seduction. a thousand nights would be there to follow, but would I this time? I licked my lips and languished in the indecision.