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05.17.2004 more fun with meaningless wordsI know, I don't update frequently enough, I don't call or write, I never help out around the house, I don't send you flowers anymore. Eh, well, what can I say, I'm an asshole. Love me anyway? Because looky, I made up a new word today: manxiety - n. 1. Anxiety related to a man. 2. Anxiety experienced by a man. Use it in a sentence: "I've had manxiety, I've caused manxiety, I've conquered." Been a while, as far as you know. In other news, apparently my glass is half-full, though you'd never know it some days, today possibly being one of them. 05.07.2004 sweetnessRight now, I'd rate my life as "better than the final episode of Friends", of which I didn't see the end, due to a mysterious (yet predicted) VCR-programming glitch. I don't know how my story ends, either, but I'm willing to bet that in both cases, it's good. 05.05.2004 sugar rushI've been trying for days now to get a grip. I try to tether myself down with logic, hoping for a haven of sense, for fear I'll float away in diffusion if left unchecked. The future looms with intent -- or does it? I toy with suspicions, perchance their sting might bring me back down to earth. I ground myself with guilt and doubt. I look for distractions to regain some focus. If I could make my psyche sit quietly in a corner in an extended time-out, I would. In truth, I'd prefer to let it run amok, let the electric rush of fear and excitement shoot out my fingertips and bounce off the walls, turn cartwheels across an Earth that jumped off its axis and started turning in a whole new direction, as I try to hang on for the ride. But for that, I've got to get a grip. |