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03.30.2004 suspended in timeYou may have noticed that I finally updated some of the stuff I like on the left there that has been unchanged for months. If not, looky. I'm sure I liked some other stuff in the meantime, but that'll just be my little secret. Recently I entered a rehabilitation program in which I watch movies, ever, just like normal folk do. Recovery is going well and soon I may be able to conduct social conversations without hearing "GASP! I can't believe you've never seen [INSERT TITLE OF INCREDIBLY POPULAR/AWARD-WINNING MOVIE EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET BUT ME HAS SEEN HERE]! You HAVE to see that movie!" even once. For now, I probably still haven't seen "that" movie, but I have seen these ones, and liked 'em. You, however, I'm still not sure about. 03.29.2004 cold satisfactionOh, I'm weak. I'd gone months without, the desire never fully leaving me, but I knew that those brief moments of pleasure would quickly be eclipsed by the inevitable ravaging to my body and mind. Still, I found myself pining for it today, a yearning so strong it became a need. And so I did it, right in the middle of work, that's how badly I craved it. After months of denying myself the ecstacy, knowing only too well the consequences it would bring, I succumbed to shameful temptation....and drank a Pepsi. And Oh. My. God., it was good. I know it'll be gone by morning, that our sweet union is destined to go flat, but right now, I just don't care. If loving you is wrong, baby, I don't want to be right. 03.24.2004 incompleteour sentences don't end as they ought 03.22.2004 words to live byWhen we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take that step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will learn how to fly. -- Teller 03.20.2004 let this serve as a reminderYou didn't imagine it. 03.17.2004 she's no saint, but this is her dayToday my good friend Colleen turns 30. 30! That just doesn't seem right, as she'll always be a sweet young thing to me. Colleen keeps a low profile, so most folks don't know how amazing she is. First of all, the girl is ridiculously intelligent. Her head's chock full of knowledge about interesting and erudite topics, not the crapload of meaningless entertainment trivia I have stuffed in my own skull. Second of all, she's crazy talented. She makes incredibly detailed, complex, mindblowing, psychedelic art that provides a glimpse of just how much more there is to her than meets the eye. And, of course, she is a kind and loving friend, supportive, sweet, true blue, and funny, too. Have a very happy birthday, Colleen! 03.16.2004 road to nowhereHello again and welcome to one of the finalists for World's Dullest Website! If you couldn't tell, my interest in this website -- hell, any website with my fingers in the design pie -- has been nil lately. I designed and launched a new site (members only, darling, but cooler than those jackets) and as is my mercurial way, poof!, there went my interest in designing and launching web sites. Spent, sated, now off you go til I feel the need again. Obsession...then oblivion. Can you see why I hesitate to choose a career? Speaking of, the main thing going on in my waking life lately has been a full-on loathing of my job. Now that I'm no longer spending my days crying and pining over boys, I'm free to focus on all my other problems, of which there are many. Really, I've hated my job for most of the 5 years I've been at it, but it's so benign, the loathesomeness was easy to ignore. My boss is wonderful. My hours are obscenely flexible. I'm well-paid for what (little) I do. I've traveled to exotic and exciting locales. And I'm bored out of my damn mind. Last week, the hate rose up and refused to further be denied. So now I'm back to the same spot I'm always back at, trying to figure out what I want to be when I('m already) grow(n) up. I've been reading I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, which is very good. Hopefully there are answers for me within. Many people have notions of what I could or should do, but the thing is, what YOU think I should do (write, design websites, shut the hell up) isn't necessarily what I want to do. Then again, even shutting the hell up, professionally and for profit, would be preferable to what I am doing at this point. Meanwhile, I continue to get most of my entertainment through sleeping. Last night I dreamt I was giving a makeover to a very nice, handsome man who really was in no need of a makeover, he was just letting me practice my non-existent makeover skills on him. (Yes, too much QEFTSG and WNTW for me, perhaps.) I fell for him primarily because he had nice hands. This has happened before, in real life. The night prior, another handsome, fictional man seranaded me with Bee Gees tunes after I revealed my childhood crush on Barry Gibb, and I went all swoony. This hasn't happened before, but it probably could. Given this theme, I'm starting to wonder if it's time for me to come out of Romantic Retirement. Then again, if my dreams are any indication of how indiscriminate I might be in real life (proving I've learned nothing from this sabbatical)...perhaps NOT. |