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11.26.2003 aww, shucks, m'amEvery time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. And every time someone links to my site, I feel all warm and tingly inside, which is great, because I'm not getting any action otherwise. Anyway, I love you, too, darling! (and she really is darling) And I am now one step closer to World Domination. 11.24.2003 rockin' the suburbsLast weekend I saw another great local band perform: Noble Savage. Noble Savage is a band comprised of friends of mine. They sometimes perform a song that I wrote. One of these days, their bass player is going to help me record a CD of my songs. So, I'm pretty much obligated to like them, or to say that I do. But here's the thing: I don't just like them because they're my friends and may in some small way further my own musical aspirations. I like them because they're GOOD. In fact, anymore they're better than good, they're pretty damn great. They'd be one of my favorite local bands if I'd never met them before in my life. It's been amazing to watch and listen to them grow and improve over the past few years. Their playing just gets better and better. Their lead singer is a powerhouse. They've expanded their repetoire in directions that have taken them from being merely a "fun" band to one that really kicks some ass. The originals they play easily stand up to the covers they perform, so much so that I eagerly await their next CD release. They really got it goin' on. I've known all this for a while, but it really hit home Saturday night when they launched into Metallica's "Enter Sandman". They tore the roof off that sucka, and damn near every single person in the place full-on rocked out with them, heads bobbing and banging along. You could seriously feel the love in the room - not just because the song is a popular favorite, but because the band fuckin' turned it out, perfectly. Moments when an audience and a band connects like that are pure magic. I had goosebumps, I was so proud! Now I can hardly wait for their next show, and that TRULY rocks. 11.19.2003 brokedown palaceOK, what the hell is going on with this week? Are the planets out of alignment? Am I stuck in the Twilight Zone? Are we all caught in some crazy radioactive alien beam and don't know it? Communications are going awry. Emails are getting lost, conversations are missing key things like nouns and verbs. People are speaking English but nothing is making any sense...more so than usual. Machines are running amok, or not running at all. Nearly every piece of equipment in my office has mysteriously malfunctioned this week. I just watched my Palm Pilot completely reset itself while sitting idle in its Hot Sync cradle. I wasn't even looking at it, let alone touching it! My home appliances are in on the conspiracy as well. I'm almost afraid to start my car for fear it will blow up. And for once, it's not just me, other people have been reporting similar experiences, as well. Travel arrangements are going beserk, dogs and cats are living together (I've seen it!), what tastes like butter is turning out to be margarine. And all I can say is: THE HELL??? 11.18.2003 shiny unhappy personI swear if I have to look at my shiny orange-y (trick of the lighting, people...I do not look like an Oompa Loompa in real life) face on this website ONE MORE DAY I am going to scream. Photoshop needs a "powder your damn face, you slob" filter. Seriously. And yet I must endure, because contrary to what you may surmise from the finished product, I do NOT know what I'm doing here (or anywhere), so the redesign is taking FOR.EH.VER. And I must say it is looking less and less like what I envisioned, and more and more like....crap. I advise you to go look at Lauren's site instead, her designs consistently rock, and she just debuted yet another one that's making me feel inferior. Perhaps you'll go blind or get Vaseline smeared in your eyes before my redesign goes live, though. Keep hope alive, my friends...keep hope alive. 11.17.2003 hot for teacher(s)I saw a band called The Faculty Lounge, made up of local teachers, perform Saturday night. They were quite good, playing the sort of classic funk/R&B/soul goodness that sets one's toes to tapping and one's booty shakin', and they drew quite a crowd to my dive-y little neighborhood tap. The singer's voice perfectly matched the material with amazing range, the band was tight, and the horn section really made the music come alive. I didn't have to go out of my way to see them, but I would, I definitely would. I wasn't actually hot for any of them, though, that was just a semi-clever title. In reality, I could barely see them, because the dance floor in front of the stage was consistently packed, and because they were all a bit height-challenged (and I can say that, because I am, too). Going out to various local venues over the years, I've noticed that the average Iowan is a little on the short side, which perplexes me. You'd think with all the corn-fed Iowa beef and pork we eat 'round here, folks would grow tall and sturdy as redwoods, tall enough to see over all that corn. But this does not seem to be the case. And the point of that was...nothing, I'm just sayin'.
11.13.2003 lame, actuallyLast night, on a whim, I went to a late showing of Love Actually. I can sum up the problem with this movie thusly: TOO MANY CHARACTERS. On the movie's official website, they list 17(!!!) principal characters and there are many more speaking roles and cameos than that. With so many stories to tell, the most I knew about any of these people was whom they loved or wanted to love, and possibly their occupation. I couldn't even have told you their names! Granted, I am bad with names, but in a 2-hour movie you would think this much I'd be solid on. It wasn't even demonstrated WHY the people loved whom they did, other than sheer physical attraction. Thus, the movie prompted a few laughs and a couple tears, but it was all situational, there was no investment in the characters themselves. But other that, it was GREAT. After the movie, I lost my virginity. I know, it was a long time coming, and it's hard to believe it took so long, but it finally happened: I got my first-ever speeding ticket. Unlike the one other time I've been pulled over (but not ticketed), the officer was not a gentlemen I'd met previously who told me he would spank me if he caught me speeding again, and was therefore somewhat eager to catch me a second time. The officer last night was kind enough to reduce the speed on the ticket so it wouldn't effect my insurance, though. As losing one's virginity often is, the whole thing was rather disappointing and anti-climactic. I wasn't speeding away from the scene of a crime, rushing to the hospital to save a life, or in passionate haste to meet up with a lover. I wasn't even in desperate pursuit of a restroom. I was merely driving home from a movie theater 5 MINUTES from my home. How lame. Still, the jig is finally up. I expect the prostitution and drug-running to catch up with me next. 11.12.2003 land of a thousand unfinished thoughtsSee, I had this whole thematic plan for the "land of a thousand birthdays" thing. I have all these compadres with birthdays all around the same time (since I've rarely met a Scorpio I didn't like), and I was going to have a birthday post for each one of them, thereby making sense of the "land of a thousand birthdays" thing. The problem is, I have the attention span of lint, and rarely finish anything. My home, my desk, my head, my life - all littered with unfinished projects, unfinished thoughts. But dammit, this one I intend to finish! So Happy Belated Birthday to: Jeff: whom many have seen naked There! now my conscience is clean....er. 11.10.2003 virtual insanityIf you're not already insane, but would like to be, I highly recommend trying to build a website, as invariably there will be some tiny element that goes awry, some little snippet of code that for no discernable reason doesn't work, and you will spend hours trying to figure out WHY, as you question your intelligence, your eyesight, and the existence of a benevolent and merciful God who would not allow you to suffer like this. If you're already insane, you'll simply want to shoot yourself in the head for undertaking the project in the first place. The current status of my sanity lies somewhere in between. 11.07.2003 music you missedYes, it's back, now on a monthly rotation, just like I promised, cuz I'm good to you like that. I also sorta promised to feature a chick for a change, so here you go: Artist: Suzanne Rhatigan Good luck finding this one, it's all kindsa outta print. But I like it. "To Hell With Love", indeed! As you can imagine, that song's pretty spiteful (yet tuneful!), but then there's "Open Up", which is full of pent-up sexual energy, as two lovers-to-be flirt covertly on their morning commute. Also good: "Don't Talk", an anthem for anyone who has ever loved an austere intellectual, and the wistful "Indian Summer". There are other good tracks besides those, but I can't remember them off the top of my head, which is how I'm composing this little review-lette right now. It's a bluesy kinda album, kinda loose and saucy, and Ms. Rhatigan has a raspy, sexy voice. Maybe this is really all you need to know about her and it. Track it down and judge for yourself. 11.05.2003 marketing geniusToday at work, I received an invitation to join the Entomological Society of America. Yeah, I thought it was pretty ironic, too. 11.04.2003 land of a thousand birthdays, part deuxLest anyone think I play favorites here (because really, I hate everyone equally), today marks the birthday of another good friend of mine, Dan. Unfortunately(?), I do not have any incriminating pictures of Dan that I can post, as his bribe check was considerably larger than Chris's in the imaginary scenario where I blackmailed them both. I can't remember the exact date that I met Dan, but I do remember the location and the circumstances, and that we became instant friends, the kind where you can not see each other for months (AHEM) and pick up right where you left off, with plenty to talk about. Dan is a longtime fan of Tallulahville, enjoys basketball, tequila, and classic rock, and his turn-ons include....kidding, I have no idea what his turn-ons include, but he undoubtedly has some. Happy Birthday, Rico. 11.03.2003 immaterial girlLast night I spent quite some time fantasizing about one of the night stock clerks at my grocery store. He was exactly my type and I had this sort of crazed Pavlovian response to him that I later redirected towards a Krispy Kreme. Still, it's good to know that my magnetic pull towards the marginally-employed remains intact. The closest I may ever come to finding a sugar daddy is meeting a guy who drives a delivery truck for C&H. |