I'm going to be hard-pressed to come up with some New Year's resolutions for 2004, because as you know, I'm already perfect. That, and I've embarked on several changes already. My philosophy is, either I'm ready to do something or I'm not, no sense waiting for a special day to get on with it. So I didn't. And lord knows I pretty much think everything needs changing, all the time.

Thus, I stopped cavorting with dumb boys months ago, to stop feeling like a complete fool myself. I cut back on drinking, unless you count tea...I decided to start drinking a lot of tea for no discernable reason, other than I was cold one day, and had 5 boxes of tea in the cupboard from all the other times I decided to start drinking a lot of tea. I've been pretty successful at not doing things that make me miserable just because I think I "should" anymore, although I've yet to figure out how to stop going to work and still collect a paycheck. I started eating more produce, not because it's health-conscious, but because salad just sounds really, really good lately. I capriciously vowed to have Better Teeth in '04, an endeavor which involves an embarrassingly loud electric toothbrush and daily flossings. (It also means I actually did something on my little to-do list on the left. Hooray, me.) I backslid a bit on money management, but the iBook was totally worth it, I think, as I no longer want to jettison my computer across the room on a daily basis. I chopped off a bunch of my hair so I can grow it out and destroy it all over again. I haven't delivered a Donut Manifesto in months. I'm practically a god now, or maybe a saint. Something perfect and wonderful, anyway.

In short, I'm slowly becoming a boring mature, sensible adult, just like all my boring mature, sensible friends. The problem is, I've already done the mature and sensible bit, for nearly 30 dull years. YAWN. But wild 'n' impetuous wasn't working for me, either. As a result, I feel like I'm having some sort of identity crisis, so bland and ill-defined, unsure of who I even want to be anymore. Life seemed a lot easier when I was either the ever-virtuous, logically-designated moral authority, or an easily-identified trainwreck of a human (albeit a charming trainwreck). This middle-ground shit never sits well with me. Perhaps next year I'll resolve to find an identity that suitably integrates both my frosting and whole wheat sides into one delicious and complete nutritious breakfast that I can stomach. And then I can tell everyone to bite me.