I mean it this time. From now on I am going to:

• walk to work unless weather is horrible (e.g., tornado/thunderstorm or excessive heat/humidity - i.e., 2 days of entire summer)
• stop staying up so late/get more sleep (starting Sunday since weekend already shot to hell)
• reduce consumption of caffeinated soft drinks related to ongoing sleep deficit
• eat more fresh fruit despite wretched moldy produce selection at neighborhood grocery store
• better organize life in order to spend more time doing preferred activities such as sleeping and sex
• better manage finances to reduce & eliminate debt/establish savings account/procure desired material goods
• stop buying magazines I only read once OR buy subscriptions/read them at local library/continue habit of reading at bookstores without making any purchase
• make better use of time/opportunities at work. possible ideas: actually working while there, learning to sleep with eyes open, embezzlement
• be more openly affectionate with loved ones, keeping in mind that not everyone is comfortable with being dry-humped in public or at all
• encourage cat to puke on linoleum instead of carpet and use scratching post instead of destroying furniture drug cat/self
• create TV-watching schedule/use VCR as God intended it
• practice singing, not just in shower/car
• continue practicing guitar-playing despite total lack of improvement shown over 15-year period (aka, sucking)
• start reading again, preferably books with words, but may have to work up to that
• stop bitching about how much other people bitch even though it is so very annoying and they are stupid
• make more useless lists such as this one as gives feeling of accomplishment without any real effort

(* note most of this I have been saying for weeks/months/years/entire life)