And here's another one:

I am jaded. I knew this but it really hit me tonight. It was just a small little thing, would have slipped under the radar but I tend to obsess. I remember when I wasn't like this, when I was hopeful, not just in spurts but mostly, and I know how I got from there to here and it is all quite depressing to think about. Besides brainwashing, I'm not sure how one undoes this sort of thing. But I'm trying to figure it out, at least.