Saw Signs tonight. I wasn't expecting much, but by the end, I was crying, which is usually a good sign (no pun intended) with me and movies. Usually it means I was moved in some way, other than being upset about wasting $7+ on a bad flick. A little genuine spooky fear at work here, to be sure, but it was more the visit to an uneasy space in me between believing in the essential rightness of the universe and at the same time feeling wholly alone in it. As I coiled and cowered in my seat, I wished for a Someone to grab onto for reassurance, as if one strong arm was all it would take.

I miss my ex. Not because of this movie...for no good reason, really, I just do. I wondered, when he came and when he left, why Fate would bring someone so broken and defensive into my life when I myself was just as fragile and armored. Maybe he sensed the sameness there, and on some unconscious level, thought I might know the way out of such despair. But I didn't, not then, and now, grimly educated as I was by this very heartbreak, it's surely too late. Still, I wonder if he made it through, or if he's still feeling that stark, sad aloneness that chills you no matter who is around.