At this point you're probably thinking, What about me? What about my needs? What about them indeed! Do I look like I'm here to solve your problems? Well, I might be. (Doesn't bode well for you, does it?) My advice is as bad as anyone's. I respond well to flattery. And I can jaw with the best of 'em. So drop me a line, if you're so inclined (your note doesn't even have to rhyme), and as always, keep your insults brief and to the point.

Sincerely,
Tallulah